*Disclaimer: I
don’t own Final Fantasy VIII or any of its characters, nor I own “Bring Me to
Life” from Evanescence. *
A/N: For a friend and a dream.
~*~*~*~
~ After the
Sunset~
A bolt of
lightning met the earth for a moment, illuminating her room. She quickly glanced through the window
while putting her shoes on. For a
short instant, she could see garden through the rain, but then, the darkness
covered everything again. She stood
up in a hurry and put on her jacket, running toward the hallway. A terrific roar of thunder made her
heart stop momentarily. She paused,
closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.
Finally she shut the door behind her and ran through the hall. She took a black umbrella and reached
for the knob.
“Where do
you think you’re going?”
She heard a
strict male voice behind her, one she feared to hear right now. She closed her eyes once again.
~No…Why now? ~
“Father,
please. I’ll be back soon.” ~I don’t need this now! I have to go! …I’m already late.
~
“You’re not
going anywhere today, haven’t you seen the storm outside?” He reached for the
doors in front of her and opened them.
She could see only rain, forming a grey cold curtain. Another bolt of
lightning stroked the ground in the distance.
“Look!” He
continued, “Where could you go now?”
Rinoa
lowered her head. ~It really is frightening outside… but I have to go! ~
Her father
closed the door and then gave her a look that almost seemed concerned. “You’ll
go out another day; it’s not the end of the world if you stay at home
today.”
~…There
won’t be another day…I have to go now! ~ “It’s really important.” She gave him a
pleading look.
“What’s so
important?” He looked at her with suspicion in his eyes.
“Never
mind.” She looked away from him. ~You wouldn’t understand anyway.
~
“Do you
know how late it is? You know
you’re not allowed to go out in this hour! You were trying to sneak out, weren’t
you? There’s no way you’re going
out today or the rest of your holidays!”
“You can’t
prohibit me to go out!” She
protested suddenly.
“Just watch
me. Now, go to your room and I
don’t wanna hear another word from you, is that clear?” He yelled back, locked
the door, and took the key.
She threw
the umbrella on the floor in protest and ran to her room while trying to hold
her tears. She slammed the door
behind her as hard as she could, threw herself on the bed, and curled into a
fetal position. She hated him when
he yelled at her; she felt so powerless.
~I have
to go! He’s waiting for me! ~
She still
remembered the first time they met, a month ago. She never dreamed to find what she found
that day.
~*~*~*~
It was a
late spring evening. The sun was
slowly disappearing in the sea, colouring it in enchanting shades of orange and
gold. Crickets were singing their
monotonous song. Rinoa was walking
in the warm sand, enjoying the scene while the light breeze played with her dark
hair. She closed her deep brown
eyes, listening to the calming sound of waves and wiped a solitary tear.
Sunset was
her favourite time of the day. She
loved to go for long walks down the beach, watching the sun going down. There was nothing more relaxing after a
stressful day. And that’s what that
day was, stressful. She had another fight with her father,
it actually happened very often, but she still couldn’t get used to it. He was never happy. Whatever she did was wrong or just not
good enough. She tried not to care,
but it wasn’t possible. It hurt
every time. She hated the fact that
he could make her cry, although she never let him see her tears. She would run to her room, or out of the
house, through the city and toward the sea.
Only there
in the safety of solitude would she let her tears fall.
The worst
part of it was a terrible feeling of loneliness. There was no one there for her, no one
she could talk to. Sometimes, the
only thing she longed for was a simple hug, but apparently, she was asking for
too much.
A solitary
figure sitting on one big square stone at the bottom of a huge cliff caught her
attention. She studied him
carefully from the distance. He was
sitting with his elbows resting on his knees. He was tall, dressed in black jeans with
a grey, black-sleeved t-shirt that covered his muscular chest. His brown unruly hair was covering his
eyes. There was something about him she couldn’t name, something that drew her
to him…
He said his
name was Squall. Squall, what a
beautiful name! At first he was
silent, as he barely spoke a word or two if she asked him something. She found out he’s a student at Galbadia
Garden, that the Garden was okay, and that he’s not yet a SeeD. After few really short answers and a
“whatever” followed by silence here and there, she assumed she annoyed him, so
she decided not to bother him anymore.
She just wanted to stand up and leave when he finally
spoke.
“Beautiful,
isn’t it?”
His eyes
were fixed on the falling sun. It
actually seemed that he was trying to start a conversation. She smiled to him. Obviously, he didn’t
want to talk about himself or his life, and she understood that. They talked for hours that evening,
about the sea, sunset, world, and stars.
She was surprised how easy was to talk with a person she had never met
before.
~*~*~*~
Another
clap of thunder woke her from her thoughts. Rinoa wiped her tears and humming a
melody, she went toward the window.
As she opened it, cold wind mixed with raindrops stung her face. She didn’t mind. The sting of the wind was nothing
compared to the sting of reality.
She slowly
closed the window, and took a seashell from the shelf that was standing next to
the window, throwing herself back on the bed. With the same melody carved in her mind,
she put the seashell on her ear and started singing quietly.
“How can
you see into my eyes like open doors?
Leading you down into my
core
Where I've become so numb.. ”.
~*~*~*~
“You know,”
Rinoa started, playing with a seashell that she’d picked up. “When I was a child, I used to come here
with my mother. She told me that if
you put a seashell on your ear, you can hear the music of the ocean. It always reminds me of her and the way
she used to sing me.” She said with
obvious melancholy in her voice.
Rinoa realised she had never told this to anyone, yet she felt as if she
could tell him anything. He was
practically a stranger, a person she had now seen for the second time in her
life.
That day
she went to the bottom of the cliff with a hidden hope that she’ll see him
again. He never said he would come,
nor did she ask him to, but there he was, sitting on the same rock as the day
before. She couldn’t believe how
happy she was just to see him there.
She sat next to him with a quiet “hello” and after some time, without
even realizing, she started talking about herself, a thing she almost never
did. She had a bad day and she
started telling him about how depressing it is when people have a certain
picture of you, but they never bother to check if their picture is true or
false.
His only
answer was a simple, but sincere “I know.”
They
continued talking, until she noticed a seashell buried in the sand. He was
looking at her as she picked it up in silence, and then she started
talking.
“She
died…” Rinoa’s eyes were lost in
the distance, as she put the seashell on her ear. “…My mother.”
Squall
looked at her after short silence.
“How old were you?”
“Five.”
She whispered.
“I’ve never
met my parents…I grew up in an orphanage.”
He looked away from her, toward the falling sun.
Rinoa
looked at him. “Were you happy there?”
He picked a
pebble and tossing it into the sea.
“I don’t know…I guess I was.”
“It must be
hard to grow up alone….” She
whispered while continuing to hold the seashell.
“I wasn’t
really alone, there was Matron… she was really kind. And there were lots of children there,
though I was never a really sociable type of person.”
He turned
to face her, noticing she was still looking at him, silently asking him to go
on. Once again he looked toward the
crimson sky and continued talking.
“There was a girl there who was older than the rest of us… I was really
attached to her… She was my ‘Sis’…but she left…”
He stopped
there, obviously not wanting to talk about it anymore. They stood there in silence, until
darkness had taken over the sky, when Rinoa had to return to her home. With a short “see you” and a slight
smile that he couldn’t see, she left.
~*~*~*~
“...Without a soul,
My spirit sleeping somewhere cold,
Unitl you find it there and
lead it back...home... ”
She
couldn’t sing anymore, as the reality of those words made her cry again.
Depressing, monotonous...the sound of rain was all she could hear. Rinoa just wanted it to stop. She kept asking herself ‘why.’ Why did these things always happen to
her? Why did it have to rain
today? She only wanted to see him
one more time.
~I might
never see him again…~
The storm
outside was getting even worse.
Rinoa couldn’t stand the sound of raindrops anymore. Another deafening explosion of thunder
made her shiver. She took her
pillow, put it over her head, and continued singing
quietly.
“Now that
I know what I'm without
You
can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real,
...Bring me to
life. ”
~*~*~*~
Rinoa felt
her heart beating faster as she saw him there again that evening. She stopped, smiled, and then hurried
toward him. As soon as he heard her
footsteps, he turned to face her.
There was something strange in him today. As she sat next to him, his eyes turned
toward the falling sun.
“Hey.” She greeted quietly.
“Hi.” He answered
absentmindedly.
She
continued observing him in silence.
He was deep within his own thoughts. Something seemed to be bothering him,
and he didn’t know whether to tell her or not. She would let him decide in silence.
Rinoa
watched the falling sun, one that was their faithful companion throughout the
last week. It was crimson that day,
as if covered in blood.
“I’m
leaving in a month.” His strong
voice woke her from her thoughts and slapped her back to reality.
She
suddenly turned toward him to confirm what she had just heard.
“I
thought…” He started, but failed to
continue. She patiently looked at
him. He took a deep breath and
turned to face her. “I thought it’d
be better if I told you now than wait any longer. With time it would only be
harder.”
“Why?…
Where?” She barely
muttered.
“I’m…moving
to
And she
did. Even to her own surprise, she did understand.
She never
thought he could leave, she never thought these encounters would stop, she never
actually thought about this. She
almost grew to depend on their evening meetings. It was something surreal, but
still genuine, something that had helped her through the hardest moments in the
last week. She reminded herself
daily that she’ll see him in the evening and everything seemed brighter
again.
He hung his
head, waiting for response.
“I do
understand.” She gave him a small
smile as he looked at her. “It’s
ok, really…I’ll…miss you…but maybe we’ll meet again, right? I mean…who knows where our life will
lead us…maybe we’ll meet in Esthar…”
“Thank
you.” His smile left her frozen. “We will meet again…” He repeated her
words.
“Wanna go
for a walk?” She looked at him,
thinking how he should smile more often.
Together
they walked under the bright silver moon.
It was past midnight when she decided she should go home. She knew her father would get upset…she
should’ve already been at home, but right now she honestly didn’t care. She enjoyed Squall’s company and their
long, profound conversations. She
was never able to talk like this with anyone else. Somehow they were able to finish each
other’s sentences. Sometimes she
would just open her mouth to say something, and then she’d hear him say the
words before she could. It was
really strange, but she liked it.
She didn’t like to talk about herself or her feelings, and a smile was
her answer to everything, no matter how she was feeling. Some people thought of her as silent,
others as ‘the always-happy’ person;
none of them knew her. But he
wasn’t like other people, he understood her, sometimes even without words. He understood her because he was like
her.
“Soul-twins” He once said, “We have the same
souls.”
“I really
should go now.” She finally said
looking at him. She could see that something was bothering him
again.
“I’ll miss
you.” He said with his head
down.
“Yea, I’ll
miss you too…” She looked at him,
waiting to hear what was upsetting him now.
“Maybe…”
He started, “Maybe it would be better if we stop this…” He noticed hurt in her eyes and quickly
continued. “Don’t get me wrong,
it’s only because I don’t want to hurt you when I leave.”
She raised
her sad eyes to him. “We have less
than a month, and after that we may never see each other again. We have to use
this time the best that we can.”
He gave her
a small smile, and with it, erasing all the doubts she had.
“Come.”
He took her hand and embraced her as she came
closer.
“Sweet
dreams.” She whispered, enjoying
the security that he gave her. Unwillingly, she broke the embrace. “See you soon.”
“Sweet
dreams to you too.”
~*~*~*~
Suddenly,
she stood up from the bed. With
determination in her eyes, she went toward her bedroom door locking it. She stopped for a moment, closed her
eyes, and tightly grasped her mother’s ring that was resting on the delicate
chain below her neck. She took a
deep breath, and went toward the window.
Once again the cold wind and raindrops stung her face. She climbed on the window and jumped on
the wet grass. She looked around
checking if someone had seen her, though she couldn’t see anything but the
rain.
She started
running. Everything was grey. Houses were rising from the mist like in
a nightmare. The sounds of her
footsteps on the wet pavement were silenced by the echo of raindrops. She was
running through the empty streets without looking around herself; the only thing
that mattered to her right now was to see him one last time, to wish him luck
and say goodbye. One car stormed
next to her, showering her already drenched clothes. She hardly noticed it.
~What if he isn’t there? Maybe he thinks I won’t come because of the storm. Maybe he came…but couldn’t find me…I just want to see him one last time…Please be there. Please…~
The grass
suddenly replaced the street below her shoes. ~Just a little
further... ~ She ran across a field, which when they
had walked here together, was covered with silver flowers under the moonlight…
But now, only muddy water covered the earth.
Finally, she
felt sand below her feet. She
stopped and looked around her, but couldn’t see anything as the curtain of rain
covered everything. She continued
running toward their rock, or at least where she thought it was. Warm tears were falling down her cold,
wet face.
He was nowhere
to be seen.
A dark shadow
sitting on the rock made her forget everything. As he stood up, she ran in his arms.
“I knew you’d
come.” He said as she ran into his
open arms. She didn’t respond…there
was no need for words. Nothing
mattered to her anymore when she felt his strong arms around her. She didn’t want this moment to end,
ever.
“I heard you
crying.” He whispered into her
ear.
“I don’t want
to lose you.” She sobbed quietly,
tightening her grip.
He broke the
embrace and put his hands on her face, uselessly trying to wipe away tears and
raindrops. “Hey, look at me.”
She raised her
eyes to meet his, trying to keep them open despite the rain. “You’re not going
to lose me. Even if I’m far from
you, I’ll always be with you my angel.”
She buried her head in his wet jacket, trying to stop crying. “I love you…” He whispered.
“I love you
too.” She answered without raising
her eyes.
“You’re
trembling.” Suddenly he
noticed. “You should go home,
you’ll catch a cold.”
“I don’t
care.” She hasn’t even noticed the
cold till now.
“Here, at
least put this on.” He took off his
jacket, placing it around her shoulders.
“What about
you?” She
protested.
“I’m trained
to be a SeeD, don’t worry about me.”
He answered with a smile. “But you really shouldn’t stay in the rain.
Come.”
He took her
hand and led her under the cliff, and sat on the on the dry gold sand. She sat right next to him, resting her
head on his shoulder, and closed her eyes.
This was all she wanted, to be close to him. He put his arm around
her.
“How will I go
on without you?” She whispered.
“Who’ll be here to talk with me, console me, make me
laugh?”
“You’ll be
fine, don’t worry. You’re stronger
than you think. And you won’t be
alone, you’re too special to be alone…and one day, we’ll meet again.
”
“You really
think we’ll meet again?” She looked
at him sadly.
“If we don’t
forget each other we will.”
“I’ll never
forget you.” Another tear rolled down her cheek.
“And I’ll
never forget you.” He rested his
head on her dark wet hair. She
closed her eyes once again, enjoying in the moment when her dreams were coming
true. As every dream, this one had
to end too…and when you wake up, sunshine greets you with dark reality. Calm, warm light welcomed her as she
opened her eyes. She heard someone
whispering.
“Wake up
angel.” He gently shook her shoulder.
She looked at him, still confused.
He smiled. “You fell asleep
and I didn’t want to wake you, you looked so peaceful.”
“When do you
have to go?” She whispered as the
realisation of the world around her slowly came in.
“Pretty much
now.” He looked at her with sadness
in his eyes. She bowed her head
with a sigh. He stood up and
offered her his hand. They walked
toward the sea hand in hand.
“Beautiful,
isn’t it?” He stopped. The sun was rising above the ocean,
leaving silvery tracks on the surface, like a road leading toward heaven. Nature was calm after the storm. Everything seemed white and peaceful, as
a seagull flew above them, welcoming the new day with its laugh.
“It truly is.”
She smiled weakly, leaning toward him. Unconsciously she tightened her grip on
his hand, not wanting to leave him.
“I have to go
now.”
He turned
toward her, looking her in the eyes.
She wanted to disappear in those eyes, to get lost in them and never find
the way back again. She embraced
him tightly, and he responded in the same way. For one peaceful moment, which she
feared to be the last one, they just tightly held each other. He broke the embrace, almost tearing her
heart. No matter how much he was
trying to suppress his emotions, she noticed a tear in the corner of his
eye. She wanted to tell him so many
things, she knew this is her last opportunity to do that, but the words weren’t
coming. The emotions she felt were
too strong; she felt she would break down.
“We’ll see
each other again, right?” She
forced a smile. He nodded, unable to speak. “I’ll never forget you…and I’ll miss
you…”
“I’ll miss you
too.” The tear fell down his face, and he quickly wiped it away. “I won’t look back…I won’t be able to…”
Squall put his
hand on her chin and left a kiss on her forehead. “See you my angel.” He whispered,
quickly turned around and walked away.
Rinoa was
watching him until she couldn’t see him anymore. All the emotions abandoned her, leaving
her hollow and numb. She wanted to
cry, to let a piece of her sorrow fall with the tears, but she couldn’t even
cry. She slowly walked toward their
rock and leaned on it. Unconsciously she slid down, until she was sitting on the
wet sand. She was looking toward
the sun, but couldn’t see anything.
The sun was rising, growing brighter. Another day had come; life was slowly
waking around her.
Another day,
the first one without him…how many more will there be?
“Frozen inside without your
touch, without your love
Darling, only you are the life among the
dead.”
~*~*~*~
A/N: I know
this is strange and that I made Squall and Rinoa a little OOC, and I also added
few things like that Galbadia Garden students have to pass the SeeD exam in
Balamb, but I had to for the sake of the story, so …forgive me *puppy dog’s
eyes*
One big
THANX for Ashbear and
Wayward!
Reviews are
highly appreciated.
Rinoica
majasverko@yahoo.com